How to avoid getting stuck in high school

“You’ve become so big — but to me you’re still that cute 2 year old that used to stay here all summer” – every grandmother, ever. 

Do you know that feeling when you come back to your parents’ house, and all the sudden, you feel like you’re 17 again? You forget that you’re an adult. You adopt old behavior patterns. As do your parents. For instance, while driving. 

“Take the wheel with 2 hands. Go slower. Don’t forget to look over your shoulder”. 

Hey mom, I’ve had my driver’s license for 13 years – I got this. 

Yet it’s hard to blame parents and grandparents for treating you that way: because in their mind, we’re still the children that we once were. 

Why?

The perception of identity is static – even though identity itself is fluid. 

In the moment we get to know a person, our impression about their identity is formed. From there, the perception may change over time, but the majority of our perception of their identity will remain the same, no matter how much time passes.

What we see here is what psychologists would call “first impressions” and “anchoring bias”. 

The first impression is the event when you first encounter a person, and make your judgment within one-tenth of a second. That judgment is – obviously – based on the nature of the person in that very moment. 

That first impression is subsequently used as anchor: a reference point that influences an individual’s judgment, even though the anchor might be completely irrelevant (eg. your 2-year old self when judging you as an adult).

We mostly know the anchoring effect from numerical applications: in a negotiation, you want to enter with a ridiculously high price to set the anchor for the rest of the negotiation. The effect has also been observed in non-numerical applications – like our application here. 

During my Bachelor’s, I ran the enactus chapter (a social entrepreneurship organization) for all Munich universities. We had one applicant that stood out over all others: first semester, 18 years old, crazy high potential, did a ton of good work way beyond his years.

We recently chatted again, and in my mind, inadvertently, that 18-year old guy excited about life popped up – even though he now runs one of Silicon Valley’s hottest companies. 

That’s totally unfair to him, because he’s made crazy strides ever since that moment 9 years ago. 

But no matter how much you change, other’s perception of you is still largely based on who you were when you first got to know each other. 

The anchor holds strongly. 

We evolve so much during our lives – for nothing? 

Luckily, there’s a solution: changing your environment. This allows you to set new anchors with people. 

Leveling Up ⬆️

Every time I’ve moved cities, I felt like I leveled up. Almost like in a video game. Everyone I met in the new city got to know the Dominik that I was now, not the Dominik I used to be.

Moving allows you to reset your physical and social environment. You can simply be the person that you are now, instead of being caged in some shell of your former self. It allows you to burst the bubble, to be exposed to new influences, and for people to simply accept you as you are now.

The more advanced you become in your career, the harder it’ll be to move cities. But that shouldn’t keep you from: 

• Changing your employer every few years (which also tends to come with a steep new learning curve as well as a bump in salary)
• Doing something different every few years (after all, you’re a generalist, dear reader – there’s more to life than just one thing)
• Giving the gift of goodbye to old friends that you don’t really connect with anymore 

Every change in environment means leveling up. You’ll meet new people who will simply perceive you for the person that you are in this very moment. And that, in turn, drives change. It allows you to be the person that you are right now, instead of being tied to old perceptions. 

On the other hand, if you always stay in your hometown, always hang out with the same people … well, that’s how you get stuck in high school. 

Following this logic, we can create a new razor (a mental model that shaves off all other options): when faced with two options, always pick the one that allows you to change your environment. 

Let’s call this the “leveling razor”. If you have a better name for it, do let me know (can be easily confused). 

For example, if you’re young and only have responsibility for yourself, and get two equally good job offers, always pick the one that allows you to leave the place that you currently live. If you hate it, you can still move back. 

But likely, it’ll be one of the best decisions you’ve made in your life. 

Question for you:

What’s something you can do this year to level up? 

Like, find a new job? Then consider applying to my career accelerator for generalists, aptly named Generalyst Recruiting. 

PS: A similar razor to the leveling razor is the “luck razor”: when choosing between two paths, choose the path that has a larger luck surface area. Learn more about it here.

Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you:

[1] Reclaim up to 4 hours per day and find time to do the things you've always wanted to do by enrolling into Personal Productivity OS.

[2] Hire your next Founder's Associate or other business generalist position with my startup, Generalyst Recruiting.

[3] You could also find your next startup job in Europe by simply applying as a candidate.

[4] Learn how you can build your career as a generalist by subscribing to this newsletter. ⬇️